One.Eight.Six.

186.

One.Eight.Six.

I arrived at the gym this morning and met Jules on the treadmill.  I needed to work myself up to it.  After we were done, I dragged her into the locker room and had her take me over to the scale.  She calibrated it first so we would know it was right (pays to have an ER Tech as a friend).  As I pushed the numbers further I nearly felt a panic attack coming on.

I knew it was high.  I knew I wasn't going to like the number.  But at the same time?  I didn't expect it to be so high.  186?!  Ten additional pounds from where I was when I had surgery in September.  I can't even chalk it up to overeating (well OK there may have been Halloween candy but that's only the last few days I swear).  Inactivity?  Definitely.  But I don't even eat 3 meals a day - which isn't doing me any favors either.

In the 4 years since the twins have been born I've gotten on and fallen off the workout wagon more times than I can count.  I tried a little bit of Weight Watchers, Herbalife, Mamavation, Spark People ... nothing really kept me committed.  The whole reason I had the surgery in September was to really get back to working out again.  I just didn't expect to gain even more weight in the process.

I decided last week I would be spending 2 hours each morning at the gym from now on.  I realized today maybe that's not completely realistic when I was exhausted after the treadmill and crunches.  Julie and I sat down and made a good schedule around the classes with some extra workouts on our own added in during the week.  And come hell or high water I will be sticking to it. 

A day I'm not able to make it to the gym?  I'll have to either hit the track across the street and do some laps or pull out Dance Central after the boys go to bed.  I'm done looking at the piles of clothes I haven't been able to fit into for 4 years. 

I cut up lots of fruits and veggies in the fridge today so they are ready to go whenever I want them.  More water.  Blah blah blah.  All I know is I am finally out of excuses.  Surgery is done.  Boys are all in school mornings.  And I'm doing this.