Where we are now

It has been entirely too quiet around here lately... between the summer business trips, playing catch up and now the boys going back to school. 

I have spent the last few days barely blogging, facebooking or tweeting.  I haven't been talking to anyone really.  And I have been in a mood.  It took me a good day or so to put my finger on just what it was.  Yesterday morning it came out in a flood of tears before Al left for work.

My babies are all leaving me at once.  And it will continue to happen over the years.

I spent the last six years teetering between happy and miserable, overwhelmed with three little babies at home and like I have said before, feeling like we would never make it to school age.  Here we are and its official.  No more pre-K for anyone. The Big Guy started first grade, which means he is now gone for the day.  The twins are in Kindergarten - which means in just one year they will also be gone all day. 

I thought I would feel such relief, sort of like oh my God this is so great!  Instead I feel sort of wrecked... like I did not appreciate the time I had with them and I need to do it all over again. 

And by that I mean I need more babies at home.  Or one.  I don't know.  I just have this overwhelming feeling of this can't be it.  Maybe I wouldn't feel like this if I didn't have 3 boys in the span of 18 months... who are all pretty much doing everything at the same time, instead of one at a time. 

For now we are putting it all on hold, seeing how this year (and hopefully Finally selling our house) goes... and then we will go from there.  In the meantime I know that I need to get back to building my empire, getting CorboMedia off the ground finally, and getting my blog on. 

After all, on the way over to Kindergarten this afternoon, the Doodle Bop looked at me and said Mom?  Um ah... could you please not walk with us? He then grabbed the Bunny Bee and hopped into line. 

Why is it so hard feeling like your babies don't really need you anymore.