Chicago bound

I'm leaving for Chicago in the morning, so you know what is happening. 

I have a sickie mcsickie.  The Doodle Bop has not only been up somewhere between 2-4am for 2 weeks straight with nightmares (followed by the Bunny Bee who wakes up to pre-tect him), but it seems he's coming down with a cold too.  Because I'm leaving.  Someone is always sick when I leave.  Al wondered this morning if the Doodle Bop was coming down with something, though he seemed to bounce back during the day.  By 5pm?  He had put himself to bed and refused dinner.  All tucked in, lights off, nightlight on.  Yeah.

When Al came home from work tonight, he was able to get the Doodle Bop up for a late dinner.  I ran out with the Big Guy and it was a struggle to keep the Doodle Bop awake the hour until I got home.  Speaking of that drive home with the Big Guy, it finally happened.  And by it, I mean he asked me Mommy, can planes crash?

Not that.  Please not that.  I've been forcing myself to fly all over this year - alone - without xanax no less ... and while it has gotten a little easier, I am still not in love with it.  And now we have to talk about planes crashing.  He went on to tell me he's pretty sure he's heard planes can crash and asked how did I know that I would make it home. 

Oh my heart.  Also?  Thanks for fueling my fears kiddo.

We talked about all the car accidents we see (like daily lately) and how safe we still are in a car... and how super safe planes are because you almost never hear about them crashing.  It was such a hard conversation to have.  Before now, it had never occurred to my kids that something could happen to the airplane I get on... they were only worried about how long I would be gone.  Not about me not coming back.

Once we were home I sat with the boys and the Doodle Bop burst into tears.  Hysterical tears as he clung to me because he did not want me to go in the morning.  It has never been this bad.  They get a little teary, but then they are OK.  I have never seen a meltdown like this and it was terrible.  It didn't help that the Big Guy jumped in with the Yeah! Mommy don't leave!  Just cancel!  The Bunny Bee is the only one taking this well.  I'll miss you!  Remember you have to show me how the toilet in your hotel flushes when we skype!  That crazy thing that has become tradition...

While I have traveled alot this year, I haven't been away in 2 months... and this the shortest trip yet.  Less than 48 hours.  Just one overnight and I am home.  I wish I knew why two of my guys were taking this one so hard.